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The importance of being present

Maria* has fallen behind schedule on her project and meets with her supervisor Jan* to keep him informed. But the meeting sadly didn’t live up to her expectations.

To start with, Jan arrived late. I went to his office, but I found the door closed and no-one there to greet me. Then, all through our discussion he was looking at his watch and glancing at his mobile phone every time a notification came through. When I explained my problem to him, he immediately shot back that it didn’t matter and I should try to be more patient. He suggested that I should go on a project management training course, whereas the real source of the problem is a lack of resources. He might have been listening to me, but I didn’t get the impression he had really heard what I was saying.

Maria would like Jan to be more present: “Next time I meet with Jan, I’d like his door to be open when I arrive and for him to have my work in progress ready and waiting on his desk. His watch and his mobile phone should be out of sight. Then I would feel welcome and reassured that I will have his full attention throughout our meeting. He could ask me questions to understand the situation better: why, when, what is my opinion, what are the various options, etc. We might not agree on the solution, but I’d at least have the opportunity to express my point of view and to be heard.”

And what if you were Maria’s supervisor? I would encourage you to ask yourself the following questions:

  • How is this situation affecting Maria? 
  • Would I be prepared to explore the solutions proposed by Maria, even if it meant accepting a different conclusion to mine?
  • What measures can I take to avoid distractions?
  • Can I explain the reasons for my decision without awkwardness and in a fully transparent way?
  • What does my body language say about the interest I have in Maria’s situation?

As a supervisor, it’s up to you to show your interest and be genuinely present in discussions with your team members. The ability to listen is based on factors within your control: preparation, availability, curiosity, concentration, openness to different ideas, willingness to change your point of view, etc. Your presence demonstrates that you value your supervisees, and discussions with them might even throw up solutions that you hadn’t thought of yourself.

*Names have been changed

Pierre Gildemyn

If you’d like to comment on any of my articles or suggest a topic that I could write about, please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at Ombuds@cern.ch.