Michael* comes to me with some concerns: “Carlo* has been working in my team for several years. He’s always got on very well with his colleagues and produced excellent work. But recently, I’ve noticed that he’s been interacting less with the rest of the team and he’s started not turning up for work. It’s not too alarming so far, but should I be worried?”
Michael has no particular expectations of his visit to the Ombud, but just wants to share his concerns. This is fairly rare and is worth highlighting. People usually wait for a situation to become a problem before they ask for help. Following our conversation, Michael gently broached the subject with Carlo, who was relieved to talk about it. Together, they managed to identify the root of the problem and resolve it.
We’re all human and find lots of reasons not to ask for help, such as:
“It’s probably a fleeting problem, it’ll pass with time.”
In your experience, how often has time alone really fixed a problem in a lasting way? In fact, doesn’t time often just make things worse?
“What will people think of me if I ask for help? Won’t I look incompetent? Shouldn’t supervisors be self-reliant and sort out their problems themselves?”
In your opinion, who comes across as more mature and professional: someone who thinks they can fix everything on their own, or someone who knows when support is needed and doesn’t hesitate to ask for it?
“Why discuss a problem that doesn’t exist yet?”
Why not? What makes more sense: devoting an hour now to averting or even resolving a problem, or spending a lot longer further down the road sorting out a situation that’s become much worse over time?
If in doubt, don’t wait for problems to escalate – anticipate them and take action before things get serious.
Nobody’s expected to be superhuman and asking for help isn’t an admission of weakness. Quite the contrary: it’s a sign of good judgement and self-confidence. First of all, consider speaking in confidence to your hierarchy, who have the necessary experience to help you. Otherwise, have a look at the support structures offered by CERN and contact the one that seems the best fit for you. If you choose the Ombud, remember the basic principles of this service: confidentiality, neutrality, independence and informality.
*Names have been changed
Pierre Gildemyn
If you’d like to comment on any of my articles or suggest a topic that I could write about, please don’t hesitate to e-mail me at Ombuds@cern.ch.